in the turn of events

I dont know if I have a problem, or maybe am the problem, but it just feel like I do not fit in... not in a world that would have ended a few weeks ago, or the new world we are in now... it feels like we are all racng towards something... maybe happiness... but we are doing it all wrong. Just spent a whole weekend at people that think and do like me (so I thought) and went with so much expectations....

None of these were met. That is maybe where the REAL problem lies.. the expectations..

I expect to be loved... but I forgot how it is to love
I expect to be seen... but did I realy see you?
I expect to be happy... but Im crying the whole time
I expect the pills to work (hehehe) ... but Im so used to it
I expect

and the I get dissapointed, and after 3 bottles of brandy, some fireworks and plastic smiles... I am still as empty as I was before my search for happiness...

Do you remember that song that a lady sang a few years ago?

I've been to paradise, but Ive never been to me?