Moment relapse of reason

In Afrikaans I always thought "die sagte sprong" written by Sheila Cussons (I think) meant just this.... that tiny little moment where no reason is present... or that tiny moment between life and death... or that tiny moment that you experienced something scary, out of the ordinary, or what ever description you can give it, label it with.

I had that, not to long ago. Last weekend. A minute where... I think my heart stopped beating, I experienced the world in a slow "tiek-tok-tiek-tok" way. I looked down at my feet and I could not figure out if I was sitting or lying down. I could see me feet- but that was it. I felt it, but could not explain it. Still cant explain it.

And then it was gone.

In the last two years I buried three of my best friends. The first one got murdered, the second one had a stroke and the third one took his own life.

What were their thoughts? Did they had a relapse of reason, and did not recover from that... like I did? Is life not a whole bunch of relapses... that - put together make a "lapse" (at a lack of a better word) of reason... that keep us going?

I am looking for reason in everything I see - and I can fnd it! But sometimes I choose not too.

Enough for today, let me join my friends for a drink and a party in the puppet box!

Till Next Time